It's a beautiful day.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Help.

I know I'm not perfect.
Yet I don't know why I keep trying to be.
Maybe the happiness of scoring a few A1s has gotten to my head. A bit.
I'm conceited and hedonistic.
And lately, I realised I don't care what I do or how I do things.
Just as long as it gets me another A1 or A2 in a subject.
Namely Combined Humanities.
...
Because I'm tired of being inferior to others around me.
But at the end of it all I only get tired of myself.
I've heard the way I've been talking lately. It's like I won't be satisfied unless I'm perfect.
It's sickening.
So I fell short of my expectations for the Literature test. So it was by four marks. So I'm super pissed. But I'm the only one I should be mad at.
It's like I'm walking on the edge of a cliff. I can't allow myself to go one step out of line ever. I'd kill myself if I do.
At the same time, I can't let my old perfectionist habits take over again. They pulled me down last year.

So, I'm very sorry to anyone who's involved.
I'm sorry for being so arrogant and everything.

... What's the matter with me?

Riynn Chion. ♥ 8:08 PM

BLOOM HAVEN.
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I AM:
Riynn, or Raii.
Psychological wanderer.
Fancies a walk on the road less travelled.
AlienticFrontier-ed. ★
Part Anzukian, part Vytasian. ☆
Naturian and WorldPeacian.
Aficionado and crafter. ♪♫♪
Complicated.

There's more to everything than meets the eye. ◕ ◡ ◕
...
Oh, I have to say- I'm generally a very strange person. You've been warned. MOOHAR.